With age, changes in this world, we often encounter paused, not knowing what to say in the awkward situation. Friend called to tell you, He lost his job; colleagues released the inspection report to determine his cancer; University students are going through divorce, for divorce; friend's mother had Dementia; father died suddenly, while his wife was too late to see one last time and regret .......< br> the face of such pain or embarrassment to What is it? should help? how to help to be effective? to help to what extent? friends crying silent when, the how to restrain guilt and doubt, attracted to listen to and comfort his pain and anxiety? and when their own difficulties, when desperate, how timely for help? We have the ability to readily accept others to help you?
I found these 10 principles are equally applicable to other contexts, particularly as the consultant.
for many people, witnessed the pain and anxiety of others, is a very painful thing, we often want to quickly resolve it, to take certain action, or seek to provide immediate relief. Some people say the wrong things to avoid, would prefer said nothing, but missed the opportunity to express concern. We are with different people every day, for many different When people need support, or when their needs for help, but often insincere, or far-fetched, beat around the bush, around a large circle and ultimately could not cut into focus. how to open the brains , appropriate and timely expression of interest, providing the When you're not sure carefully listen to what the caller said, did not say, and what the real meaning. Listening is not talking or asking questions; usually be eager to share their stories, or ask each other questions, thinking that this gesture is to listen to the others. But the so-called listening, it should be with our eyes, ears and heart to listen to each other's sound, while in no hurry to immediately know the cause and effect. We must be willing to put their own between, and sometimes that, sometimes to listen to; When you hear your heart broke, must remind ourselves unconsciously slow down the production of mechanical response, for example, to quickly resolve each other's anxiety, positive thinking and have no problems, then jump to the stage to take action or do we think that some of the other good things.
leisurely pause and think, under the judge will allow us to stop, stop the reaction, and generate curiosity. so, help in the important instant, empathy, play, pause if not done so, we may In an instant, then go back out later. pause as the car, change gears using the clutch needed: first, to some extent slow down, buckle up after the gear can be accelerated.
consolation of art, is them from the painful situation in the disperse the pain. We try to provide them only over the cry, one of the most natural response, that is, want them to stop crying, and said to him: , we usually will not help your feel feel ill at ease. However, the body tries to cry toxins from your body a kind of emotional way, but tears are a healing process. So please, do not worry Take a tissue paper to each other, just let him know you support his mind.
4. to give comfort to console
not tell other people: should feel ......and acknowledge their feelings. We do not need through the forget the people aware of the volatility of our hearts did not say that out of the thoughts and feelings. Although people are unsure of our ideas, but usually aware that we are scared, under judge them, or feel sorry for them. face to face to comfort others , and the true state of our hearts, have great relevance. because they happened to empathy, we not only share each other's pain, but also need to bear their own inner torment. regardless of the situation faced by how good the appearance and comfort, that is, is to give each other a gift.
6.
changes will bring long-term waiting for a lot of confusion. No one can quickly rectify that confusion. People need time to adjust, review, change and asked: ...., what? patiently for their repeated use.
7.
brave to come forward regardless of any living situation, I do not know what to say to myself feel embarrassed is nothing wrong; let us know what we want to help people feel is nothing wrong. or even honest to say: you do not hurry do not need someone else to find useful resources
all the answers, but you can try to provide the resources available to other friends, experts, friends of friends, to help them find answers. can play a few calls to each other, link contacts; also can find books related to their reading; also allows him to answer.
9. put ourselves in, take the initiative to help
When we asked: their real needs nothing. empathetic, people may need to consider the assistance is an effective first step in helping others.
10. Even if we make good use of empathetic
encountered a similar experience, can not understand one hundred percent other people's feelings, but we can make good use of empathy to care about each other. Remember that the first patient to be listening to other people's stories, there is no need to consider their own stories to share? and share the results of whether the other good?
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